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More Great Driving Pet Peeves

February 1st, 2000 | Author: admin

Why is it that when people get behind the wheel of a motor vehicle (or as I like to call them, two ton bullets) they just lose their mind? It really isn’t that hard to operate a two ton bullet, but most people just don’t seem to be able to get the hang of it. Here are some of the worst offenders in the world.

Old people. Let’s face it, everyone will get old at some point, but that doesn’t mean that you have to become worse at driving. You would think that people with one foot in the grave wouldn’t care about being so careful when they drive. I mean, if you are like 80 or even older, then you should just tear around and not give a hoot. If you do get pulled over, who cares? It’s not like the cop is going to be some hardass on a geriatric. If you are reading this, and you are old, first off good for you on being on the Internet! Secondly, put the foot down and stop impeding my forward momentum.

Men. Wow, what a generalization! I know, I know, not all men are bad drivers, but seriously, some of you need to cut down on the testosterone injections. By men I mean those overly aggressive drivers who feel the need to constantly be in a race and damn anyone who gets in their way. Most of the time, though not always, these men will be driving oversized trucks laden with all sorts of big wheels and truck body kits and loud exhaust pipes. Listen, this isn’t NASCAR or a monster truck rally and it never will be. So stop pretending that you need to exert your will over everyone else on the road and settle down. Stop driving like maniacs who feel they can do whatever they want just because they own a big ol’ truck ya’ll.

Women. Again, how general can this be? Well, since I already mentioned men, you know this had to be coming right. Though I’m sure most women are perfectly responsible drivers, there are those out there who just don’t seem to get it. Whether they are having a hard time parking their ginormous SUV that they had to have to feel safe, or whether they are not signaling or failing to yield, you will come across some bad women drivers. In fact, you will probably see them later today. And if there is ever a holiday sale going on, be sure to stay well clear of all major roadways leading to the mall because once women smell a shoe sale there is nothing in the world that can stop them.

If everyone would just learn the rules of the road, or even stop driving altogether, then I would be less irritated when I drive. So, old people please speed up. Men, please slow down. And women, please just learn how to drive in general.

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Things to Hate About Moving

February 1st, 2000 | Author: admin

Is there anything that is more fun in life than moving? Yes that is a totally sarcastic comment because really there can be nothing in life that is more of an aggravating headache. Ah moving, how do we hate thee, let us count the ways.
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rThere are so many things to hate about moving, here are just a few:
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r Packing: Before you can move all of your stuff to your new place, you have to pack it all up. This is a hassle from the get go. First you have to find boxes to pack all of your belongings into which means plenty of trips to the grocery stores asking for their left over boxes. Then you have to make sure that you pack everything just so to ensure that nothing gets harmed in the move. Finally you get a good slap in the face from reality when you realize you will need a moving truck as big as a tractor trailer to haul all of your stuff to your new residence.
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r Renting a moving truck: Just what you want to do on your weekend off, rent a moving truck. After you figure out what size you need you have to make sure it is available and then go pick it up and listen to the salesperson try to sell you a bunch of add-ons that you don’t need like a moving dolly or packing blankets. And what is with that smell that is always in the cab of the moving trucks don’t people know about the wonderful invention of deodorant? Then you get to experience the joy of actually packing up the moving truck. There is no way to do this without absolutely sweating off about 20 pounds and you are inevitably going to break something while trying to squeeze boxes here and there.
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r Bribing friends: The time to see how many friends you really do have is when you are moving. You may think you have hundreds of buddies, but good luck getting two or three to commit to helping you for a fun filled weekend of moving your stuff. The ones you will be able to convince will more than likely require some form of compensation like beer and pizza. What’s worse is that once they help with your move you are now on their list of people that owe them one and you know they will cash in before too long.
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r Unpacking: When the rental truck has been swept out, filled with gas, and returned and your friends have all left with full stomachs of pizza that you bought, you sit back and let the dust clear. But not so fast, you still have the daunting challenge of unpacking all of your belongings. You try in vain to find a home for all of your things but before too long you realize that everything won’t fit into your new place.
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rAfter all the fun you realize that you will either have to have a yard sale or rent a storage unit. This is where you scream at the tops of your lungs and realize just how much you hate moving.

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